0031_log_entryset19

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0101 hours, Wednesday, February 14, 1973.

I am confused.

Ten minutes ago, I could feel pressure on my side.  The Scout was shaking me.

Scout unit: Come on Steve, I know you ain't... agh, hang on.  What did they do again?

I couldn't bring myself to care much about what he did, but I was surprised to feel him fumbling with the plates near my neck.  Something jiggled, something that felt foreign, and suddenly it gave way.  It must have been the inhibitor because I was able to move again.

Scout unit: Awesome, okay look Steve, you've gotta tell me how to fix your eye.

I rolled over on my side so I faced away from the sound of his voice.  My eye flopped uselessly from a few wires; I could feel it bump against my face.  Scout tried to roll me back over to face him.

Scout unit: Quit being an asshole and talk to me, will you?  I think you owe me something.

I pushed him away, but he skirted my arm and pressed at my neck again.  And then the inhibitor was back.  My arm fell limp to the floor, and his hands went to my face.

Scout unit: Fine, be like that.  I'll figure it out myself.

It galled me that I couldn't make him leave me alone at the very least, but the feeling of annoyance passed even as he jostled my face plates rather roughly.  It wasn't as though it mattered what happened next.  If he ruined my eye, well that would just be one less part of me for Herr Gray to dismantle later.

But to my surprise Scout's persistence paid off.  The eye scraped inside of its socket as he clumsily began to screw it in, and my vision blinked back on.  The first thing I saw was him grinning down at me in satisfaction.

Scout unit: Heh, that wasn't too hard.  Now I'm gonna take that thing out of your neck again, and you're gonna give me some answers.  You got that Steve?  Don't bother trying to play hardball because you won't win.

He waited for a minute before remembering that the inhibitor kept me from being able to speak.  He knelt and pulled it out again.

0031: Leave me alone bitte.
Scout unit: I'll leave you alone after you tell me what the hell you did.
0031: I told Herr Gray; weren't you listening?
Scout unit: Well yeah, but that was you talking to Gray.  I want to hear what you did straight up.  No lies or nothing, I'm serious.  I don't know how pissed off at you I should be yet.

I pushed myself into a sitting position.  The holding cell isn't very big, just a gray square of sheet metal with a sliding door in one end.  I stared at the corner, refusing to look up at the Scout.

0031: I took the brain from the clone Herr Medic und I made for Herr Engineer.  It is unlikely that any fate that befalls it here will be much more unpleasant than what Herr Medic intended it for anyways.  I thought it would be better that way because Herr Engineer is so unhappy in this place.  But I don't belong with the rest of you.  I never was human, not like him, und Herr Gray is my master.  He made me, so he is in charge.

The Scout crossed his arms.

Scout unit: Man, I can't believe you.  I thought you liked us.
0031: This has nothing to do with personal preference.
Scout unit: Oh yeah?  What is it about?  Sucking up to Gray so you can be his favorite trashcan?  Or--

I looked up into his face as the annoyance returned.

0031: It is about doing what I am supposed to do, imbecile.  I don't expect you to understand.
Scout unit: Pfft.  I think I understand plenty.
0031: I am not trying to 'suck up' to anyone, not even Herr Gray!  I am trying to figure out what it is that I am supposed to do!  Herr Gray made me; ergo, he is in charge und I should do as he says.  He did not, however, make Herr Engineer, who is free to make his own decisions.
Scout unit: Do you have a wire loose or something?  Gray is probably going to KILL YOU.
0031: Und that changes the situation how?  Tell me human Scout, since you are so knowledgeable about such things, what system is worth anything if it is abandoned at the first sign of danger.  This isn't about making Herr Gray like me; this is about... about how things are supposed to be, or... morals, perhaps.  I do not know the proper word.

The Scout frowned.

Scout unit: Yeah, except you lied to him.
0031: Well that was just... Herr Engineer is able to make his own decisions, I didn't wish to--
Scout unit: But you still lied to him, even if he's supposed to be, like, right about everything or whatever.  How does that fit in?

I glared at him for a moment as I tried to find the best way to respond.  It was difficult.

0031: You said you would leave me alone after I explained what I did.
Scout unit: Well I still don't get it, so you need to explain more.
0031: Scout, you do not understand because you are not a robot.  Nothing I can tell you will make you see what I mean, so this is entirely pointless.

He watched me for a moment longer, miraculously quiet.  I could not ascertain what he was thinking from the look on his face.

Scout unit: You know, that sounds like some sort of daddy-issues thing.
0031: Gott in Himmel, what are you blathering about now?
Scout unit: Just shut up and listen.  Like... okay.  

He sat down next to me, looking as though it were taking all of his concentration to figure out what he wanted to say.

Scout unit: Take me and my ma for example.
0031: What?
Scout unit: I've got a point, just listen.  See, my ma and me are pretty close.  If she's got something she needs me to do or whatever, she asks me, and I do it, see how that works?
0031: I suppose.
Scout unit: Yeah, and it's because I care about her.  But the thing is, one reason I care about her so much is cause she cares about me too.  When I was little she'd change my diaper and feed me and crap, and then I got older and she tried to help me out in school and keep all of us out of trouble so me and my brothers wouldn't spend the rest of our lives in prison.  I mean, it only kinda worked, but you know.  And when I stop by her place now, she usually makes me like a ton of food and asks me how work is and makes sure I'm not hurting myself too bad out there.
0031: Scout, what is your point?

Scout frowned as though trying to figure out the point himself.

Scout unit: I just mean like... it seems kind of like you see Gray as your dad.  Except he's not a real good dad if he doesn't care about you, is he?

I stared at him.

0031: Herr Gray is not mein Vater.  He is my Maker.  It's different.
Scout unit: Hey, I'm just putting in my two cents, okay?  Just think on it, and I'll try to figure out some way to get us out of here.
0031: Do you really think that's possible?

Scout shrugged.

Scout unit: Maybe not, but there's no way the guys are gonna let us go without a fight.
0031: Correction: they will not let you go without a fight, Scout.
Scout unit: For a robot you're kind of a moron.  Did you know that?
0031: Just leave me alone.

He did.  Unfortunately now I cannot get his words out of my head.  Herr Gray is my Master; it is not comparable to human familial relations.  I doubt if there is any way to make the Scout understand that.  But all the same...

All the same I did lie to him, didn't I? 

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